Self-promotion - how to get past the ick

Online dating, job interviews, promoting your business services... they all require self-promotion. If you think "glorious, my time to shine" then congratulations and goodbye, this post is not for you.

This is for people who - like me - regard self-promotion as unpleasant chore like checking the tyres' pressure or getting the flu jab.

So how do you promote yourself if you hate self-promotion? These are a few tactics that have worked for me...

Do it badly

Lets say you need to write your Tinder profile, you need to sound smart, funny, attractive and approachable. Right? No! You're trying get someone to swipe right - that's it. You don't need to convince someone to profess their undying love on the basis of a few sentences.

As Seth Godin says "write something".

The chances of meeting new special friend with a Tinder bio that says you like to graffiti signs correcting their grammar is pretty low. The odds of it happening if you haven't written anything at all are non-existent.

Accept that you won't write the best thing anyone has ever read. Accept that you will probably hate it - just write something. Done is better than perfect.

Get someone to do it for you

Telling someone you're the best thing since sliced bread is awful. Championing someone or something you really believe in is not only easy, it's fun.

Think about how your friends would describe you, what would your mentor say? How would your colleagues describe you? There's a decent chance they'd do a far better job of championing you can do yourself.

I've written dating profiles, CVs, covering letters for jobs and mini biographies for conferences. Every time the person I was writing for has told me to 'tone it down a bit'* . It's a joy to shout about people's talents or great businesses or worthwhile charities. You will have champions willing to tell the world how great you are - in fact a lot of your friends and customers are probably already doing it - all you need to do is capture their words and put them into the 'about us' section on your site.

Embrace rejection

The idea of rejection makes me feel sick.

Fear of rejection was one of the biggest barriers for me leaving my job to work freelance. I knew I would need to promote myself to people who would reject me - and worse I'd have to keep going after being rejected and not just crawl into a hole and wallow in my misery.

I know I'm not a perfect fit for every business, charity or publication. I know I'll offer help or apply for jobs and be told "thanks but no thanks" or just get ignored.

But I also know that regret is worse. I have the choice of two 'bad' options - regret and rejection. Of the two I'll choose rejection.

So I am now aiming for rejection - I'm making it into a target. My goal is to be rejected 100 times in my first year as a freelancer. If I'm not being rejected I'm not putting myself out there enough. For me self-promotion is essential and rejection is an unavoidable byproduct. By actively targeting rejection I can lessen the sting.

Show don't tell

If the idea of promoting yourself is really too cringe inducingly awful to face try demonstrating your skills instead.

Show a portfolio of your photos, video a class you're teaching, write a blog post showing off your genius communication skills. You don't have to write that you're a pilates master or a social media guru, you can let your work speak for itself - provided you make it visible to the people who need to see it!

Clearly this will only work in certain circumstances - perhaps not one for your Tinder bio.

Your favourite book has a one star review

Critics can be brutal - it doesn't mean they're right.

The Shawshank Redemption was slammed by The Washington Post saying it "seems to last about half a life sentence". Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone was called "irritating and contrived" by the New York Times.

Pablo Picasso was repeatedly slammed by critics - including this gem:

“I have seen the work of insane persons confined in asylums who lean toward art, and I will say that the drawings of these insane artists are far superior to the alleged works of art I saw at the exhibition."

Bad reviews happen to good work.

These critical (and public) maulings may have stung at the time but they are a good example of the fact negative feedback isn't always right.

Getting started

So why not start now? Put the most banal aspect of your day on your Tinder bio. Hand your LinkedIn profile to a trusted colleague and ask them to write the 'about' section. Apply for something far beyond your wild imaginings (if you're lacking inspiration have a punt at a seat in the House of Lords). Make a note of three things you picked up at the last conference you attended and share them with your team.

*Not entirely true - I once wrote a mini bio for an egomaniac who complained I'd stuck to the word limit and the facts...